Affection
by BleedingFromTheInside
Summary: A story written basically about my own life. (In further chapters -) Warning: Drug use/alcohol abuse/Mention of Rape/etc. Don't like, don't read. ;-)


_Hello dear readers, it's been quite a while, well how long has it been exactly?Almost a year? I've had to take a year off, from writing, well actually I wrote on my own free time but had no chance or time to put it online. _

_Yes I'm sorry for that. _

_Anyhow this story will be based on true events, there will be a few fiction parts. _

_But you'll figure that one out for yourself. Or you could send me a message._

_Right before I forget it'll be written in the I/Me version._

_Because it's easier that way and shows more emotions from my side. _

_Loads of love, hugs and kisses. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_It was a regular Monday morning, well except to the fact that my brother has been knocking on my door for the past twenty minutes. _

_I wonder why that prick never leaves me alone, especially in the morning._

_Yes I am not a morning person, I hate morning people. They are too bright. _

_Full off energy, and want to know everything from the previous night. _

_Sadly enough, nothing happened the other night, just a normal and regular night. _

_I went to bed at three in the morning, as always _

_Designing my own tattoos, making appointments, Skyping with my friends. _

_The usual things to do for a student, well not really. _

_But in my life it is. _

_I stood up from my bed, stretching a bit, and pulled my sheets and pillows back in place._

_Then I noticed I launched one of my pillows onto my cat. _

_I grinned as my kitten started to hiss at me. Well it's her own problem for laying there in the first place. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes from my desk, along with one of my favourite books. _

_I opened my door and my brother tackled me, this is why I really hate morning persons. _

"_Roxas! Come oooon you'll be late for breakfast." My brunette idiotic brother, called Sora beamed. _

_Now my brother isn't that stupid, seeing as he studies medication. _

_But he can be stupid loads of times, not only does it bother me. But it also bothers our father. _

_My mum and dad divorced, as soon as my father has heard my mother had cancer._

_I've never heard from her ever since, I do get a letter every once in a while. _

_But she doesn't want to meet up, or talk on the phone or anything. _

_She's doing fine now though, she moved far away, lives with another man and is sort off cured._

_I pushed my annoying brother away, and just gave him the silent treatment, like I do every single day. Every single time he wakes me up too early, he gets the silent treatment. _

_Once I've had my cup of coffee and my eggs I start to talk, other then that I'm pretty introvert._

_I rarely go out, I rarely show my emotions, I rarely date. Yes I rarely date. Even though I'm already eighteen. Yes sure I've been in a relationship and stuff, but I rarely stay in one. _

_Basically because I always find the person cheating on me, boy or girl. Doesn't matter for me._

_I've been in a lot of relationships and they've always cheated on me. I've no clue if it was thanks to me, or because I couldn't give them something they actually wanted. And honestly I don't care right now. The only thing I want to do now is to make sure I pass my years, get top grades. Maybe become a tattoo artist, or a designer... Maybe even a hairstylist. Yes I'm a creative person. I suck with maths. _

_I walked down the stairs and took a seat across the table, to stare at my father. He was sipping on his coffee. I grabbed the newspaper and read the headline."Mass murder.." I looked up to my father and he nodded. I read the article a bit more, and apparently there was a mass murder at a high school not far away from where we live. I stood up, put the news paper down on the table and walked over to our coffee machine. I put my cup underneath it, and by accident my coffee spilled out from the top again. Yes I hate coffee machines. And they don't like me either, I've tried the coffee machine at college and that thing keeps splattering the coffee over me. _

_I am cursed. I looked over at my father and he had to hold back his laugh. My brother nearly fell of the stairs when he heard me sulking. "Don't forget that your classes start at seven forty five, guys." My father muttered. _

_I nodded and went back upstairs with my failed cup of coffee, to change into my school clothes. _

_Which consisted of black skinny jeans, with a lot of zippers and holes. I love zippers and holes in clothes. That's why I mostly design my own clothes, every single piece of clothing here is too fashionable. I grabbed my Shirt put it's tie around the neck, my tie has pins all over it. I put on my creepers, checked myself in the mirror. Gave myself a tiny boost of confidence and walked back downstairs. Bag in my hand, I put my cigarettes in my bag and my book._

_I double checked my bag and noticed I didn't put my phone in it. I rushed back upstairs, slammed my door open, shit I again hit my cat, fml. My cat was really pissed off at me this time.. _

_She has been through worse, thanks to my brother Sora. But I love my kitty cat to death._

_So it's a problem if she starts to hate me now and sleep on my dad's bed now. Because I basically can't sleep alone.. Yes I know it's weird not being able to sleep alone, but hey can't help it. _

_I grabbed my phone from my night stand tucked it into my pants, patted my cat. By getting a hiss back from her and a scratch on my hand. Could've expected that. I rushed down the stairs, grabbed my bag, ran to the door and towards my car. Not caring that I forgot breakfast this time. I opened my car doors and speeded off to my college. Now my college isn't that amazing looking. _

_Okay that's a lie, it's great looking, it looks like a shopping centre. We got about five cafeterias. _

_Loads of toilets, we even got escalators instead of regular stairs. Did I mention yet that there are a lot of students here? No? There are about six divided buildings, and they have all specialize in more than ten subjects. That's impressive, I know. _

_I parked my beautiful Land rover free lander 2 in the parking lot. And walked up to the building. I looked in my bag and found my pack of cigarettes. I slid one out and light it. Taking long drags and letting the nicotine float over my lungs. I know smoking is bad, but it relieves stress._

_I felt my phone vibrate and decided to take a look. 'You've one new message' I wonder from who it is, I hope it isn't my brother. Because he always bothers me at times like these. I looked at the sender of the message and grinned lightly. 'So... Mister hotstuff decided to send me a message, I haven't seen him since he left on his backpacking trip.. I wonder how he's doing.' I let my thoughts go wild. That red headed man was the only man out there which I've adored since high school. Which has been now for nearly three years. _

_I read over the text, it was casual as always. He actually asked me out back in June, but back then I said no, because I was to confused over my feelings, and I was really shy and had to think about it back then. I mean he's my best friend, and I'm actually scared it'll screw up our friendship. I grinned when I reread the text and let it go through my mind. _

_'Heya my dearest Roxy,_

_how is it going? It's been a while since we've been hanging out and shit. _

_Do you have any time this afternoon? Or any time this week or whatever? _

_I bought you a present when I was travelling around. _

_So you got something to look forward to if you have time this afternoon.''_

_I shook my head and gave him a fast reply. 'I'm done with college around twelve, I'm with my car though, meet up in front of the building in about 4 hours? Xoxo' I sent him the text and walked over to my class. Maths... I'm not going to like this. _

_I looked around my classroom. At least there were a few nice people in my class. Kairi for one, She's the little sister of my best friend. She's a total sweetheart, has big blue eyes. But she doesn't live at home any more. She lives with her girlfriend as we speak. Namine, she's also in this class. Sweet petite little girl. They actually look like each other, but like they always say.. First love is the person who looks the most like you. I guess both appearance and personality wise. _

_I looked over the bullies which were in my class, every school has bullies, and these are terrible. _

_They all judge by appearance always by freagging appearance, if you don't fit it in with them you get put on some sort of blacklist which I myself am on apparently.. _

_I've no clue how I got on that list to start with. _

_I took a seat next to Kairi and she pointed at my hand and looked with concern in her eyes. Asking me what I did. "Chibi scratched me once again.. You know how much pussies love me."I said with a smirk on my face, seeing as both of the girls turned a light shade of pink and decided to drop that comment. "So how was your summer?" Namine asked and I raised my eyebrow at her. My summer.. I haven't actually done anything this summer, staying up late, working.. And nothing actually. "I had a nice summer. I worked all summer, and actually got a tan. Which is a first thing since years. I've always been as pale as a ghost, remember?" I pointed at my arms. "It's a first to see you have a tan, you've never even been in the sunlight back in high school" Kairi said with a smile on her face. _

"_Oh right, Axel's back in town, he got home earlier, around five in the morning." Kairi mentioned as we all paid attention to our teacher's class. I really hated maths, he always picks me, and he knows I never or rarely know the answer. Hence why I never ever have liked maths, I actually dropped it during my third year of high school, only to be left more annoyed on college. Thank god classes went by fast and I actually saw my redhead in front of the class doors. Yes, he didn't wait at the front. He knew were my classes were. Especially since he knew that this was my last year. _

_I smiled brightly at the redhead and felt my heart beat way faster than it normally does. I hugged him tightly and saw his piercing emerald green eyes met my oceanic blue eyes. He looked my face and body all over, and we walked out of the building together. "So tell me Roxy, got any new interesting piercings?" I blushed lightly, and actually wanted to switch topics. Because I actually got drunk during the holidays when I had a day off from work.. And actually got my male body part pierced. Woke up the next morning screeching when I noticed that I had a new piercing.. "Nah, Axel I only got my bellybutton and my nipples pierced.. Got an appointment with my tattoo artist in a few hours, want to come with me? Because it'll be on my wrist I might flinch a little bit.." I said with a shy smile and actually looked away. I looked back up at him and he gave me a small smile. _

_I giggled a tiny bit as I saw him reaching in his pocket, and getting out a tiny box, with a red ribbon around it. I love ribbons. They are adorable, now I wouldn't put them in my hair. But they are cute nonetheless._

_I looked at the box as he placed it in my hands and closed his hand around it."I didn't really know what to get for you.. But I hope this is al right." He whispered in my ear. My cheeks turned a bright crimson and I just opened the box slowly. First taking off the nice red ribbon, And then opening it. There was a bracelet in it, a black one that is. With colourful beads around it. It looked like it was pretty expensive so I didn't dare to ask him what the price of it was. "Thank you Axel... You really didn't have to go through all that trouble to get me such a beautiful present.."I softly said as I slid it around my wrist. It was a perfect fit._

_I gave him a tight hug and grabbed him by the hand leading him to my car. I was nervous about getting my ink. From what I heard was that if you actually decided to get a tattoo on your wrist that it could hurt like a total bitch.. And I'm not sure if I was up to that. I opened my car doors and Axel slid in the passengers seat. I started my car up and put on one of my favourite songs of all time. _

_The first second the song started the whole car was about to blast away. Woops I forgot to turn down the volume.. I guess I can't help it but put on my volume on maximum all the time. I smiled as Axel noticed what song it was and softly decided to hum along with it. It always made me happy to see that friends of mine knew my music taste even though they themselves really don't listen to it. But still appreciates it when someone is a little bit different than the rest. I lit a cigarette in the car and tossed one to Axel and offering him a fire. He gladly took it. I decided to speed off by then. It was a nice half hour drive to Tattoo shop, it has been a while since I've been there. I normally come there for my piercings, and sometimes for tattoos. But I always enjoy the guys who work there. They are nice, and polite. Not what you would normally expect from guys who work there. _

_I looked at the man behind the counter and gave him a small smile. "Hi Saix, I'm here for another tattoo.."I tried not to sound nervous, but I epically failed. He laughed a little bit and grabbed the design I had given him a couple of weeks ago before we made the appointment. I smiled at the design. It sure looked beautiful. I made the right choice. Getting roses on my wrist along with the words 'Hope'. He led me to the room where he was going to ink me. Axel followed us slowly, and grabbed a chair and sat on it, as my tattoo artist started to draw on my wrist. He drew so perfectly fine. He used two different coloured pens, one being red the other blue purple-ish. I looked in amazement at my wrist. Sure the tattoo itself isn't on it yet, but hey it looked damn awesome. _

"_Say Roxas, if you want to have a smoke before you want to get tattoo'd you should do it right now, I'll join ya. And it will get you a bit calmer seeing as you are still shaking.'' Saix said as he stood up and walked back to the front and lit his cigarette. I followed and of-course so did Axel. We stood there in silence, smoking our cigarettes, I kept staring at the painting on my wrist and was getting more excited now. But I knew I shouldn't be way too excited because I hated needles. When we walked back inside I sat down on the chair, and was breathing in slowly and let it all out. "You ready Rox? It could sting a little bit." Saix muttered, knowing that I have a lot of scars on my wrist, no shit it would hurt like a mother fucker. Don't ask me how I got those scars there because it's a pretty painful story._

I nodded with my head and closed my eyes lightly, scared of the pain which would come. But rarely enough I didn't feel anything at all. "Is it on are what?" I opened one eye, and actually saw that the tattooing gun was actually on and moving across my wrist. I didn't flinch at all. Now I have no clue why people complain about getting a tattoo on their wrist. I just sat there for a good two hours, looking at how Saix was doing my tattoo, often I would look at Axel, and just saw him there sitting with a bright smile. Now Axel himself does not like piercings or tattoo's.. Sure he has tear drops tattoo'd underneath his eyes, but he covered them every single day. Not because he regretted getting them or whatever, but he just doesn't want people to see them.

_I stood up as soon as Saix was done with my tattoo's I looked in amazement, I sure loved the way it looked like. I loved getting new ink from time to time. I had a small smile on my face and jumped over to Saix, giving him a hug of course and telling him how much of a good friend he was. _

_I looked over at Axel, as he grabbed my wrist softly and looked at the ink, looking at it at amazement. "Now I wish my parents weren't all bitchy so I could get another tattoo.'' Axel muttered. I laughed softly at his comment and watched my tattoo getting wrapped up. _

_As soon as my tattoo was wrapped up I handed my 200 bucks to Saix, telling him to keep the change because he has done a great job as always._

* * *

_End of chapter no1. _

_I'm glad I finally got a new story up.. yes I know it's detailed. Yes I make grammar mistakes. _

_But hey.. Writing this out of personal experience.. And not trying to sound bitchy and stuff but I write down a lot of details, even in real life. Guess I can't help it._

_I hope I can get chapter 2 up sometime next week, if not the week after it. It depends on my working schedule. _

_xoxo'_


End file.
